


when blue fades to black, the world goes dark

by EllaYuki



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst and Feels, Beginnings of a panic attack, Fai Pov, Fai's Eyes, Light Angst, M/M, Yama Country
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 23:24:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11172267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaYuki/pseuds/EllaYuki
Summary: it doesn’t take fai long to get used to the life in yama, and it takes him a while to notices the change in his eyes, and when he does, he doesn’t take it very well





	when blue fades to black, the world goes dark

**Author's Note:**

> the title is corny af but ugh, it was the best i could do

the days pass and he gets used to it like he has learned to get used to every new world they’ve landed in. he takes in every new thing, he makes a note of remembering every new face, and he adapts to his environment as needed.

it’s different this time, though. the children aren’t here, and neither is mokona, so he and kurogane are left to understand each other through body language, facial expressions and pointing. it’s a bit frustrating, and a lot tiring, but at least now the ninja can’t ask him questions he can’t (doesn’t want to) answer anymore.

what’s even more frustrating is the fact that kurogane seems to understand the local language, at least to some extent, which, though useful, annoys fai a bit when he, himself, can’t understand a single word of it.

but he accepts it, works around it, and after a while, it becomes easier.

he worries about sakura and syaoran and mokona, makes sure to keep an eye out for them at all times, but he’s sure they’ll meet again soon enough. after all, fei wang reed won’t let them stray from the path he’s set them on.

so yes, he worries, but not too much, leaves that to his grumpy companion. fai just smiles, plays his speechless part, and makes sure to always hit his targets on the nights when they fight yasha-ou’s battle.

and then, one day he wakes up and he immediately realizes something is different, wrong, missing.

he can’t tell what, exactly, but it makes his skin crawl and it makes him feel slightly disoriented. it makes him feel smaller by the day, like his body is slowly is becoming too small for him, like his senses are getting dulled.

he’s so distracted by it that he doesn’t notice it at first, doesn’t notice fiery eyes becoming darker and darker each day, each week. he doesn’t notice, doesn’t realize it until one day, kurogane corners him in their shared quarters, grabs him by his chin and stares intently into his eyes.

fai wants to push him away, to make a joke and diffuse the sudden tension in the air, but he can’t. he’s frozen in place by black eyes instead of red. and his breath stops in his throat. shakily, he brings a hand up, touches lightly the skin under kurogane’s eyes.

and in that moment, it clicks.

and he pulls away with all his strength, finds the first mirror, and stares in dawning horror at his own now-black eyes.

_oh._

he tries to call upon his magic, just a little, just enough to cause a slight chill in the air. nothing.

**_oh._ **

he tries a different spell, writes a few runes in the air around the mirror, tries to feeze it. nothing.

he tries to create icicles on the ceiling. nothing.

he tries to pull every bit of his magic up to just under his skin, to the very tips of his fingers. nothing.

nothing nothing _nothing._

and he can’t breathe.

his magic is out of his reach, it’s _gone,_ and he’s never felt so scared.

and for a moment, he’s back in the valley, all alone in the dark, surrounded by corpses and snow and ice and unable to do a thing about it.

his chest aches and his heart is pounding and he’s shaking and he feels helpless. so, so helpless.

and then there’s a hand on his shoulder, firm, grounding. and suddenly, he’s back in yama, huddled against the wall of their room, and kurogane is there, solid and comforting and stubborn and the only thing keeping fai sane.

and fai can breathe again.

 _right,_ he thinks, _this is temporary. it has to be. we’ll be moving on soon enough. there’s nothing to panic about._

kurogane says something, tone light (as light as the ninja’s tone could ever be), and fai closes his eyes. breathes. calms.

and when he opens his eyes, he gives kurogane what is probably his first genuine smile in… he can’t even remember how long.

_he’s fine._

_everything is fine._


End file.
